the girl in the shared auto...

The mornings in delhi had never been more beautiful. Crisp sunrise with sunrays which were surprisingly not so warm in a june’ish delhi asked for a cup of coffee. But then this job doesn’t allow you to enjoy the small pleasures of life and so here i was unloading a coffee mug inside of me rather than sipping it slowly which made the situation look as if I was molesting the coffee mug. Gosh such a terrible start to such a wonderful day.

Anyways, it was already nine, and I had to run for gurgaon. I quickly ran for a shared auto towards the metro station and got my favourite corner seat, but I had to wait as the auto was still not full. Slowly and steadily the auto started to get filled up and the way autowaalah’s fill up their autos here is another story. I would just sum it up by saying That I donno why they use so much of steel here in making buses!!
Suddenly out of nowhere unexpectedly comes the last passenger to fill the auto. She was “one” beautiful girl one could ever see. A flawless face with those perfect curves on face and everywhere, Her beautiful black straightened hair were her USP which fell on her face to accentuate it even more, and her sitting on the opposite end accentuated my uneasiness in her presence.  Gosh I was the most distant passenger to her in the auto that asked my eyeballs to turn by the steepest angle.

Oh! How can somebody be so pink that it turned red on every speedbreaker or the various crooky potholes in the way. Just loved the way her hair would play with my fortunes, when at every application of brakes by the driver  her hairs would get back a little and show her lovely face and those super lovely lips and those super sharp nose which could cut through anything leave alone so many young hearts. Those eyes which could kill anybody on a side glance. She was one undescribable beauty.  My words for the driver, take a few extra bucks but keep applying brakes.hehe.

Anyways, the Christmas time soon got over and the metro station arrived.  She got down and with her the world inside emptied out  too. Suddenly she pulls her hair back a little, just teasing me a bit more, but then what I see is a little maroon colour up on her forehead. God she was married!!!

Why do all the good girls in the world get married so early!!

Then as she moved towards the escalators I could see she didn’t had the best of the walks, maybe she limped a bit too. Her skin... mmm maybe I was exaggerating a bit then, infact she had grown old, she was bulky as well. Her eyes were no different from another normal girl’s eyes, I think it was the Kajal that played the magic then and her lipstick colour was yuck, the worst part was when she said to the autodriver-“bhaiya 50 ka change hai”. The voice was like a squirrel cutting on some stray fruit.

Gosh I so very felt like a loser, even undermining her bombastic looks didn’t help a bit. Lucky bastard who got to marry her. hehe....

So to the metro and towards HUDA city centre. The sun was blazingly wild once again, the outside temperature was forty three something and coffee was nowhere in mind.  Boss must be going crazy, as I was an hour late already.

jowka no more...:-(

The present scenario in Jowka's lyf seems to be taking a toll on his usual self.
he's sort of losing on his traits. The shy guy in him is apparent once again.....
So one day when I was highly dejected after 4 pm tea break.
I vented out my heart in the worst possible way.
 i.e. "writing" and that too with my broken hand.
As usual it is poor like always but still it goes like this....

Why am I  not able to talk to thee??
Am so sad and you walk away happy n' glee..


Why am I not able to sleep even an hour??
My hand is paining, but am concerned 'bout my heart..


The jowka is losing on his normal traits.
Is it disappointment that's written in his fate??


Tell me somehow what I should do now.
I wanna be with you but how??


This love is tormenting me badly.
Save me plzzz, the shy guy is pleading sadly..

Jowka’s first visit to harihar!!!

Describing an NID in the middle was disturbing the flow of my post so I reshuffled the flow and decided to do the assignment at the very start. Well NID is another exaggerated concept from the pandora box of KIAMS. It is the abbreviation for non instructional day and it seems to be the scientific name of mine and your's chutti. Well this makes me remember my  childhood when I was eating a mango and I came to know from my biology book that I was not abhishek but homo sapien sapiens and what I was eating was actually mangifera indica.WTF!!!

Anyways this being my first NID at KIAMS I thought I'd better have a feel of the world outside the campus. Harihar visit was an obvious choice as it was my ville natale( my French exaggeration for hometown)  and hence like a resident of delhi is called delhite, that of Mumbai is a mumbaikaar similarly I being A resident of Harihar, was a Hariharan now(not the singer like him though :-p. In reality I'm as good a singer as my roomie "gujju" ;-) but the difference is he enjoys this fact and I donot).

There were many first times that day and many first and last times too, one of the last times being my walk on foot to the Harihar circle (until and unless it is with my reprography girl ofcourse :-)). Well harihar circle has a fact attached to it, I don't know whether it's right or wrong but somebody told me that you take the right turn there and then look towards the circle, and you call it shimoga circle!!!).

  Well about the market I must say it was looking like one big sweet shop with its speciality being  "jalebis" which they had hung outside their shop on their info boards with each jalebi hiding a puzzle behind itself for me to solve. I knew my limitations and abilities with puzzles so what I had to do now was to look into each and every shop and make out whether it was a general store or a ladies beauty parlour!!!. The beauty parlour part might look cool to many testosterone freaked guys suffering from estrogen deficiency  until and unless you come here and check that the customers there were all Oprah Winfrey's without her aura and style, who had lost their youth way before I was born. For your info I must say the real beauties here can be found at the nariyal pani shops ( it is the natural beauty booster I suppose) ;-)

Suddenly I had a look at the mirror at a shop. God my hair was really crappy and was going all over the place in whichever way it wished, I felt really bad and so impulsively went inside the shop and asked for a comb and guess what they do sold combs!!( my first lesson on selling was learnt i.e. first create the need in the mind of the customer and then sell). The shopkeeper dived into a fevicol carton which he was using to store the combs as if trying to convey the message that my type of hairs would need a Fevicol to keep it intact at a place. Well as always, the comb could do little to help the wild grass upstairs and a fevicol tube option was a very bad P.J. so I had to settle for the last option "a hair cut".

  Well searching a good barber shop in harihar was as tough as finding the reference book you need in KIAMS library at the time of a test. I started wandering at all places trying to decipher what the next hanging jalebi was trying to convey and then suddenly I came across a shop where a kannada hero's caricature in sort of nice hairdo was displayed so I had finally got my reference book through my experience in north india which says such paintings are there at only two places first one is a barber shop and the second one is a local juice shop where you can find a Salman or a Shahrukh sipping sugarcane juice and in this case it was definitely not a juice shop as the juice  glass was missing from the hero's hands.

 I went inside and much to my disappointment the edward scissorhands didn't knew either of english and hindi. Still holding on my nerves I tried sign language mixed with occasional hindi and english to tell him what exactly I wanted and I was happy enough to see that he understood my needs. So off with my specs I was at the barber's mercy now. Scissors started working and after around fifteen minutes or so the scissors stopped and the barber asked me something in kannada which according to my experience was whether I needed a shave or a massage or not. I symbolically said no and put on my specs to see how I looked.

 I looked at my hair again and again and then at the three other heads also having a haircut there and GOD all four of us had the same haircut!!! the difference was in the expression where the other three were very happy and satisfied, while I was filled with melancholy and deep sorrow. I only needed a lungi and a happy face now to become one of them. Sad and stooped I came out of the "barba(e)ric" shop looking for something to hide my face(hair). Outside the shop the actor seemed to smile at me saying "come back soon buddy!!!". I smirked saying "Definitely boss" which meant yavagalu illa or never. Suddenly my mobile phone rang with the ringtone "never say never- justin bieber" and I smirked again(my cellphone plays pranks on me too). It was gujju calling me for lunch but my visit to Harihar had been full of problems so to overcome it I desperately needed an icecream before going back so I asked for the location of an icecream parlour again using sign language(can't tell you how i imitated a softy .;-)). There I asked for the best icecream they offered and guess what, its name was "gadbad" or the problem icecream. I could smell something vicious but still I ordered it and guys it was the first thing in Harihar which was actually good and I didn't had any problems with. While having it one thing  struck my mind that if I'm ever gonna take her on a date to Harihar it would be a gadbad date ofcourse followed by a nariyal pani to keep her beautiful as ever. But its a very tough job I know coz the repro gal is just like one of the jalebis always hanging infront of me. Its the toughest puzzle I have ever faced but the reward of solving it is much higher than an A+ grade in an exam or even a positive comment for the stupid things I write, so I'm definitely gonna give my best towards solving it. 

Finally I took an auto back to kiams happy and content. Well guys another important fact and I finish off "you go anywhere in harihar they will charge you fifteen bucks for that unless and until you're drunk when you can even give a five hundred for the same job".

Back at KIAMS I quickly pinned my placard and went to the mess.

P.S.- today the jowka was happy even after seeing his kannadised face in the mirror coz he was sitting on the table just opposite her and could see the repro girl whole time while having his lunch.:-)

The jowka's visit to the reprography room.:-)

This is the date i remember till date. The third of july. I never ever tried remembering it but still its there. Just like when before the exams you are are preparing a cheat note and because of the extra care you give to it, you end up remembering the whole stuff better than any other chapter. I know the comparison sucks big time but this is all I could relate.
         Anyways what actually happened that day, makes me call that day as the reprography day. well for the outside kiams guys this reprography is nothing but your very own xerox shop( mine too till june). Its just that at kiams we exaggerate things. Well when I first heard this word, my imagination drove me to things like geography, topography, and many more weird stuff but it was when I entered that I found it was nothing but a room with two computers, two xerox machines, a printer, two annas and a Raghvendra ;-). But that day was different and in that uninteresting place I saw the girl struggling with something on the computers there( I know! I know "the girl" is wrong grammer or is it??;-) but there were many others too so here "the" means "the"). Sorry guys can't describe her here due to two simple reasons. Firstly again I am no John grisham or sydney sheldon or whateva n secondly there are weird creatures here at kiams who are excellent at making up stories and imagining out things. I must say they are so good at it that you take all the stuff from everybody put it in a mixer grinder and you are ready with your very own fiction novel with all the gaana bajana added as topping.
                                                                          So what follows is normal stuff  which everybody knows very well. The goosebumps, the high pulse rate and yes the heart has to face the brunt by overworking. But it was balanced by the mind which suddenly stopped working and I forgot what I was there for. Then I saw myself in a queue, with my documents in my hands and the xerox machine infront and I was proud of my brains again(which for your info boasts of an IQ of 130 odd according to orkut and 170+ according to fb).  

Chalo keeping the 50% romantic part aside for some moment and back to business. I then had to  go for document verification. There I first showed my 10th and 12th class marksheets boasting of 90 odd percentages. My head was high and chest somewhat bulged and yuvvrajj while checking my docs also smiled a bit. And then came my degree marksheets where there were two to three marksheets per semester and my head stooped, smile was gone and I saw from a corner. "yuvvrajj was still smiling (only that now I could see his two frontal tooth too). I was submitting him the photostats oops the "reproduced" copies when out of nowhere he said "good job man, you did your B.Tech.". I hated him then but anyhow he was saved from being included in my "I hate him" list as I have better guys there. No marks for guessing that they all are from my engineering days.
 Now finished with the job, I was on my own again. So a copy of reprography room incident was reproduced in my brain and the "you know what" things started to happen again. This was terrible. I was here to do my pgdm, with not more than one marksheet per term and what was I doing. So I went to do what most guys do to divert their mind i.e. "eating".
            Donno why even that didn't work so I thought "maybe she's the one" and I must go for her. I am a hindu and the hindu mythology says begin every good work with divine intervention and so my steps turned towards the temple  in our college premises. So there I was at the temple seriously praying for you know what. I was half through the hanuman chalisa and there came the wicked theory in my mind "How's hanumanji gonna help me when he himself was a brahmachari(bachelor)". Sorry to all the hanuman bhakta's around but then I somehow finished the chalisa and went back to my room.
                There in my room some peculiar bit of news was waiting for me- " I had to wear my name plates (introduction placard if you like) right on my chest(which was still throbbing)". That was like something very embarrasing until I saw everybody wearing similar placards with one of my friend chandan misra (now michael misra) going a step ahead and writing like "hii!!! this is ______ from_____, nice to meet u" and looked like a billboard advertising himself (sorry misraji, no qualms I hope).
                 We had to assemble then to meet at the rotundas for the rotunda session( well rotunda according to my view is an octagon and rotunda session according to me was ragging but according to seniors it was supposed to be an  interactive session between juniors and seniors). It was a bit boring on the first day. But still my feeling was pretty blithe at the end. Afterall it was my reprography room day and so I somehow was able to write the world's poorest lines on paper that day which goes like this:-

Beautiful faces are blurring now,
Days are passing slowly now.
Nights are turning darker now,
Days are appearing brighter now.
My mind is  disillusioned now,
Harihar is turning Seattle now.
I am getting a bit doubtful now,
Whether it's wizardry or it is love?
:-)


P.S.- my work may or may not be fiction. afterall I am also a part of kiams and am good at making stories.;-)

the jowka enters KIAMS!!!

I am pretty weak with dates so don't exactly know when I arrived at this place Harihar but forgetting the less interesting things lets you remember the interesting one's so here I go.
                 I arrived in the evening on a very (very means very) late train to this wrecked place christened harihar which made me remember the war hit state called bratislava in the movie eurotrip except for the fact that harihar is extremely costly compared to bratislava.
        sorry that i couldn't introduce you to the college as its really a very fine place to be in (except for the place it is in) and it require a john grisham or a sidney sheldon style finnesse or detailing to explain it so skipping that part as of now and introducing you to the characters who may or may not come in my following blogs n whom i met on my first day. the first guy whom i met was my roomie gujju ( he wasn't my roomie then), his speciality is the way he sings sheila oops ceela kii jawani n all the other item numbers, then i met all the other guys around like abhijeet(now daddu) always ready to click a photo actually ye photo uthate hain, prateek-he knows the addresses of all the gyms n pubs in n around chennai, prashanth- well he's the 285 bucks guy   ;-)(sorry guys can't introduce the whole batch here so just wrote the one's I saw in the last five minutes) n almost all whom i had known earlier through the orkut community.
                     well everything was very formal those days. guys were very polished expressing the best of their vocabulary and manners and in their formal attires. it seemed as if all of them had just been out of the convent school and had been spoon fed with english poems n their grandparents were all from some high street in some part of england who used to tell them stories from some posh english story book  or  so it was a sort of start which made me excited like anything n i thought"yeah!my days of becomin a gentleman are here". But what I actually am becoming after coming to kiams is somewhat opposite to what is the oxford dictionary meaning of a gentleman.
           So what i actually learnt from my first two days in kiams was that one shouldn't go by the first impressions as they are mostly misleading and secondly contrary to the popular belief south indians are just as good as the other north indians in english and sorry i forgot i learnt kannada too. "kannada gotilla";-)